


Operation Hugger-Mugger

by SBG



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hugs, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-03
Updated: 2014-09-03
Packaged: 2018-02-15 23:57:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2248158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SBG/pseuds/SBG
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve engages in a covert operation - the mission, to get Danny's arms around him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Operation Hugger-Mugger

**Author's Note:**

> I meant to snag a prompt for the [Hug-A-Thon](http://stevedannoslash.livejournal.com/1282926.html) over on LJ, and probably still will. Until such time, here's a wordy build up to a small hug.

A mistake many people made was taking a first impression and turning it into this immovable, everlasting proof of someone else’s character. For some, what was seen really was what was gotten, but for most, time was needed to sift through layers of personality to get to the really good stuff. When Steve McGarrett had first met Danny Williams, he’d instantly developed a love/hate feeling for the guy. At first, he’d put Danny into an annoyance box and thought that would probably be the end of it. It didn’t take long to realize he needed to rethink his ideas – only a minute, really, due to the training he had in distilling any given situation in rapid order.

Brazen, opinionated and often rude, Danny was the kind of guy who would have scrubbed out of the Navy early on, never would have been considered SEAL material. It was contrary to everything Steve believed in, but those negative qualities of Danny’s were also traits that attracted him enough to rope the other man into being his partner. He enjoyed the pushback, if he were going to be honest with himself, because it was uncustomary to him. In his world, the way he was trained, Danny grousing at his every move should have been an irritant rather than a comfort. Or, he reconsidered, maybe it wasn’t a comfort so much as it was a motivator. His amusement at Danny’s antics was possibly inappropriate, but wholly enjoyable.

_“You think what you’re doing – how you’re doing it – is just fine, don’t you?” Danny asked, exasperation clear in his tone and expression, the latter of which twisted further when he took in Steve’s half-smile. “This isn’t the military, McGarrett. You are dealing with normal human beings now and you, my friend, have a lot to learn. I need to teach you so, so very many things.”_

At the time of that particular tirade, one of Danny’s many attempts to lecture him, Steve was sure all he’d allowed through his Danny-filter was the sound of a barking seal. In the beginning, that was all he heard from Danny, and he spent most of his energy engaged in selective listening. To be more accurate, he heard everything said and dismissed it. After the third of the similar type of commentary, Steve started to get that Danny’s frustration wasn’t without merit, but it was when he’d been tipping a suspect off of a high-rise roof that he began to understand that he truly did have something to learn from Danny. He just didn’t believe it had to do with police procedure so much as it had to do with hippos. 

Steve continued to give approximately one point five fucks about police procedure. No, the real spark had been the elevator ride up, with Danny’s interaction with a frightened little boy. Steve had noticed it, and he began noticing other things as well. The way Danny could calm a distressed victim’s family member with a gentle hand on a shoulder, coax information out of a suspect without lifting a finger, and coach Kono in the finer points of those procedures Steve had no real interest in with a nudge of an elbow, a wink and a smile. Oh, Danny came off as a Grade-A ass much of the time, but underneath all of the brusque New Jersey attitude, he had his moments and his moments had moments. But above all of that, it was the easy affection Danny had with his daughter that made Steve ache.

So, yes, maybe Danny had a point about the proper way to get some things done. In his heart, Steve knew he had it in him to be more civilian, more _human_. He started to listen. He watched, he practiced. He learned what Danny was teaching.

H50H50

The mechanics of it were fairly simple and Steve always had been an apt pupil. He studied Danny closely for a few days, found himself wholly taken in by the other man’s innate talent for setting people on edge _and_ at ease in equal measure. The dichotomy fascinated him as it had from minute one, and with the closer study, he rapidly found his mind wandering to the hows and whys of Danny. How did someone so kind under it all end up prickly like a cactus on the outside, why did Danny think he had anything to hide? He had to struggle to stay focused on the task at hand, forced himself to disregard anything but Danny’s mannerisms when he was touching, comforting a victim’s family or bolstering a colleague.

Steve sifted out his growing interest in Danny, just Danny and not the finer points of mammal-to-mammal interaction, as best he could and studied the technique only. It got easier when he had his own hands-on training to keep himself busy. He began to apply what he learned immediately, at first an encouraging touch to Kono’s elbow here, a clap on Chin’s shoulder there. Once he got comfortable with those things and realized his touches weren’t unwelcome or even viewed as anything out of the ordinary – the cousins both gave him easy smiles and started giving him fist bumps and various other touches themselves – he broadened the scope of his practice sessions to include witnesses and suspects. It was easy for him to excel at the nuts and bolts of the method, but he noticed there was a difference between his attempts at tactile communication and Danny’s easy skill at it. He could mimic the movements, but the intent behind them was another thing altogether. For that, he needed emotion and that was trickier for him on multiple levels. 

There was a misconception civilians often had about members of the military, that the compartmentalization needed to do some damned distasteful things in the name of patriotism and duty ultimately resulted in an inability to feel. Steve knew it was a sweeping generalization; some of those he fought side by side with had depth of feeling so profound it was painful to observe, let alone experience. And he himself always felt, so much and so intensely he didn’t know how to handle it at times, which was why he’d been drawn to the Navy and the SEALs in particular after his father had shipped him off like so much unwanted baggage. The structure had helped him contain the things he didn’t know what to do with – put the unwanted feelings into tight boxes with lids and locks. That he was now seeking to find keys and pry bars for those long-shut containers was counterintuitive. 

Truthfully, he was afraid to untap particular emotions. If he wasn’t careful, the all-or-nothing would turn into all, and god help anyone on the receiving end of good or bad of that flood. Over the past few weeks, he’d become excruciatingly aware of Danny. With Kono and Chin, with the general public, he was essentially faking it till he made it in the sense that there wasn’t a high amount of personal investment. He wanted to reenter the civilian life, that was all. With Danny, it turned from cautious touching to natural, genuine need. With Danny, there was an indefinable difference. There always had been. 

The danger with Danny had occurred to him too late, and now that he’d started with an elbow nudge when he wanted to remind Danny he was there, a hand wrapped around a forearm to calm his partner’s flailing limbs, he wanted more. Steve wanted what was now playing out in front of him in real time.

“Hey, how’s my girl?” Danny murmured as he held his arms wide and waited, crouched low to the ground.

Steve knew he’d been setting himself up for this kind of up close and personal event when Danny had asked to swing by the school to collect Grace for his allotted custody time. The sight of Grace’s unfettered joy nearly took his breath away.

“Hi, Danno!” Grace chirped, her legs wrapping around Danny’s waist as he stood her backpack fell to the ground in her enthusiasm.

Steve picked the bag up, an afterthought to the Williams duo who were already heading for the car, still hugging. Some people were built for hugs. Danny was one of them and now Steve could see the trait was genetic. His gut clenched the way it always did when he was privileged enough to have a front row ticket to the Grace and Danno Show. It was a happysad kind of feeling; Steve knew his parents had loved him. He remembered the feeling of security before it all went so wrong, but it didn’t compare to the connection he saw between Danny and Grace. He yearned for that feeling. 

If he couldn’t have the emotion, then he at least wanted to know what it felt like to have Danny’s arms around him in that same kind of full-body embrace, and his next goal was to make that happen.

H50H50

Steve had his thing with the lovely Lieutenant Catherine Rollins, a neat little infrequent arrangement that allowed him to expend his tightly-bound emotions in small doses and in the basest of ways. For years their arrangement had worked for him, the sublimation of honest feelings with the physicality of sex. He thought he would always have that to fall back on, which would probably still be true if he had continued to live in a black-and-white world. The issue was patently clear now – civilian life was filled with so many variants of gray he couldn’t tell them apart anymore. The bottom line was, when the convenience of Cath was away for months on end, he didn’t miss it. Though he appreciated her deft hands and her soft touch when she was there for him, he didn’t crave any of it when she wasn’t.

He never had. 

By contrast, he hadn’t exchanged more than a few glancing touches with Danny, really, in the grand scheme of things. That was nothing and yet now he virtually itched with want. He’d gotten himself into this mess of his own free will, and he knew what he would have to do to stop it. The thing of it was, he didn’t want to; Steve could not imagine shoving all of what had spilled out back into compartments. He was terrified of not doing that at the same time, he was. The fear spurred him on. SEALs didn’t run away from their fears, and if he couldn’t lock them away as he was accustomed to doing, then he was going to conquer them.

It was difficult for him to increase his contact with Danny by increments when he wanted so much to dive in. He was a big proponent of going big, but he also had discipline. He worked it out. If they stood side-by-side, Steve held himself close enough to Danny their arms brushed. Since Danny didn’t step the first time, Steve considered it a victory and kept it up. He made sure to find something Danny said amusing enough to give him an appreciative pat on the shoulder. He invented reasons to be near his partner when they weren’t readily available. He mentally cautioned himself to move slowly, take it easy, _don’t push, Steve, you always push too hard_ , especially when he noted some lingering, furrowed-eyebrow looks from his partner. 

Through it all, Danny never pulled away, he never once indicated he was bothered by Steve’s increased closeness. He was _Danny_ ; the lack of protest said more than any of Danny’s rants. Steve couldn’t help himself. He was an addict. His attention often (every chance he had and he made sure to have many) hovered on his partner’s broad shoulders, his strong arms. He stole glances and touches like a teenager, and knew all the while he was pathetic. Even so, in moments of quiet when the dark thoughts of how he’d come to put some roots down on the islands, his pathetic quest for affection returned got him through.

Today, though, Steve stared at the screen in front of him until it blurred, wishing like hell he was anywhere but here. He had seen some pretty awful shit on mission he could never talk about. Somehow, he hadn’t expected anything now could come close and yet. He felt unglued around the edges, pushed to an edge he thought he’d scuttled far enough away from it couldn’t endanger him. It was a reality check he needed. He could spend hours with his shoulder pressed against Danny’s, and it wouldn’t ward off the nightmare of this case. He closed his eyes. Instead of the happy little fantasy world he’d built, he saw Rion Estep’s hollow, grief-filled eyes. 

He knew what it was to bear witness to a loved one’s death. He knew what it was like to not have justice, or even answers. Steve swallowed. His mouth tasted like it was coated in ash. 

“Chin and Kono headed home a few minutes ago,” Danny said from the door.

Steve opened his eyes, squinted at his partner. Like the rest of them, Danny had been subdued all afternoon. Call it _chutzpah_ , call it ego, but it Steve was sure he wasn’t the only one who’d thought Five-0 couldn’t get it anything but right. How wrong he was. He of all people should know that sometimes there were no winners. 

“That’s good,” Steve said. “You should head out too.”

Danny nodded, but he didn’t move. His hands were jammed deep into his pockets, his tie loose and askew around his neck. He looked a wreck, less sturdy than usual. 

“Danny.”

“Not leaving you here alone, McGarrett.” Danny’s voice was rough, worn thin by the past day and a half. 

It was Steve’s turn to nod. There was nothing more to be done here, yet the thought of going to the house where his father had died made him ill. He clenched his jaw. 

“Got beer at my place,” Danny said. “I’ll buy you one.”

There. That right there was simply another reason Steve needed Danny so much. The offer was a verbal hug, born of an understanding of him so deep it should scare him. In a way, it absolutely did. He shut his computer down, consciously making the effort to push aside the most personal artifacts the disaster of a case had dug up. He also consciously avoided looking at his partner, until he drew alongside the guy and made to pass by him. Danny’s hand stopped him, pressed against his bicep and tugged.

“You did read my jacket before you hired me, yeah? You goof, you know my solve rate is on this side of ridiculous. I know you need this like you need air, just let me.”

Of course, Danny knew exactly what he needed. Steve had wanted Danny’s arms around him for so long that at first he held himself stiffly, as if uncertain it was really happening. The heat of Danny’s body seeped into him, those arms just as sure and strong as he’d imagined. Steve let himself melt into the hug, his own arms circling around Danny’s back. He reached his right hand up to cup the back of Danny’s neck, held on for all he was worth. Danny’s breath was warm against his neck. Steve could feel the smile there, and he shivered. 

“Danny,” Steve said not meaning to sound so goddamned broken. 

“I gotcha,” Danny said softly, and held him tight.


End file.
